How To Be A Good Boyfriend And Mistakes to Avoid
What does it really mean to be a good boyfriend or a great husband?
Good boyfriends and husbands are supposed to be supportive, loyal, trusting, caring, and loving and then the relationship works.
Well, it’s about a lot more than planning dates, giving compliments, or showing up to events. You have to show up in other ways too. Every person and every relationship is different. So the things that make your girlfriend happy won’t necessarily be the things that make other people happy. And that’s part of the fun.
The relationship that works for you and your girlfriend may not work for someone else. It’s unique to you two. Because of that, if you want to be a good boyfriend there’s no one answer for what that looks like, but there are some ways to help you figure it out on your own.
What Is A Good Boyfriend?
A good boyfriend is someone who cares and loves his loved one. He’s the guy that will always be there for her, even when times are tough. Nobody will know a woman better than her boyfriend. He’ll be there when she’s sad and when she needs someone to get things off her chest. He’ll always make sure that he’s the one that makes her smile.
But he may not be the perfect man- or the perfect boyfriend, for that matter. A good man will still have room to learn and grow.
Out of 68,000 people in 180 countries, 88.9% of women say the quality they value most in a partner is kindness, followed by supportiveness, intelligence, education, and confidence, according to a team of researchers at the University of Göttingen,
The study also found that in terms of physical qualities, attractive eyes and an attractive smile are favored.
Top 10 qualities of a good boyfriend
10. Openly loving
Signs Of A Quality Man
1. Honest, Loyal, Faithful
You don’t want to be with someone who lies to you all the time or constantly omits things that will make you upset or mad. A quality boyfriend is also honest with himself; he’ll know when to say no and when to walk away from something that would hurt him in the end.
A quality man won’t play games with the people that are close to him. He values honesty above all else; without it, a relationship will never work out for the best.
A good man knows what he wants in life, no matter how big or small it may be. He knows what his limits are, but he isn’t afraid of taking risks if needed. He’s ready for commitment and doesn’t mind taking on responsibilities most people would avoid, like the plague. By being decisive, a man shows everyone else around him that he’s serious about his goals and what he wants in life.
|Photo: The Man Effect|
A confident man knows himself inside and out. He loves how he lives his life and doesn’t care what other people have to say about him or what they’d like him to be. A confident man is comfortable with himself; he knows that everything will be okay in the end, no matter how bad things may get.
You don’t want a boyfriend who’s just there for appearances. You want someone who puts effort into showing you that he cares for you and wants you by his side at all times. A passionate man isn’t afraid of doing something fun together with his loved one- nor is he scared of trying something new if it means making her happy.
A quality boyfriend will forgive his girlfriend whenever she makes mistakes. It shows maturity when he can let things go after making sure it won’t happen again and learning from past experiences together as a couple.
A quality man has his own opinions but always accepts other people’s beliefs without forcing them on others. He’ll keep an open mind should anyone have something to say that he may not necessarily agree with, but he keeps an open mind at all times about the subject in question.
You need this type of attitude if you are ever to go where life takes you. It’s a quality that will help you grow as a person and make your relationship better than it could be otherwise.
7.He cooks for you
Society also likes to portray that the woman should always cook. It’s the 21st century. We are no longer living in Leave It To Beaver-land. This doesn’t mean he cooks all the time, but hopefully he has a dish or two he has perfected. Maybe he is a master on the grill. There is something sexy about a man taking the time to cook something just for the two of you. It is also another outward act of his feelings for you.
8.He shows sympathy
When something serious is going on in your life and you are having a really hard time, he consoles you. If your dog dies, he is there. If something happens to your family, he is there. Unfortunately, bad things will happen in life and the perfect boyfriend will be by your side through all of it. Even if he isn’t sure what to say, he is there supporting you, holding your hand, and letting you cry on his shoulder. If he can see that you are visibly upset about something, he will ask you to talk about it and not dismiss your feelings.
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9. He makes you laugh
They always say that laughter really is the best medicine. Not every boyfriend has to be a professional comedian, but a perfect boyfriend does have a good sense of humor. He is playful and likes to joke around with you every once in a while. He might do silly things only with you. You two might even have endearing little names for each other too.
10. He makes plans with you.
The perfect boyfriend calls you, texts you, checks in with you often and suggests things to do. He also makes plans with you. He wants to spend his time with you. If you are always the one initiating the communication or making plans to see each other, maybe he is not the best match for you.
11.He holds your hand in public
Not all guys are so keen on PDA, even with something as small as holding your hand. But when they do, it gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. It’s nice to show a little affection sometimes, and it’s also nice to know that he’s not afraid to show people you’re together.
12.He buys you flowers
Maybe not every woman loves flowers, but they do love the sentiment in the gesture. Even if it’s on an occasion like Valentine’s Day or your birthday where it’s actually common to receive flowers, you do appreciate it.
13.He tells you are beautiful
All women want to hear that they’re beautiful, on the inside and out. It’s a compliment even more powerful than a guy saying that you’re “hot” or “sexy” (but you want to be those things, too).
14,He sends you 'Good morning' 'Good night' texts
It’s a bit corny, but it does put a smile on your face. You don’t need one of these texts every single night of the week, because you know that mornings can be busy and at night, sometimes you can just doze off. But the littlest sign that he’s thinking of you definitely makes you happy.
15.He says I love you
Hearing those three words is one of the most important things that you want and need to hear. Women need the reassurance of knowing that he loves you. It’s as simple as that.
|Being a good boyfriend starts with being a good friend. So work toward that end.|
Simpliest Ways To Be A Good Boyfriend, To Win Her Heart & Keep Both of You Happy
Relationships are sometimes difficult to navigate through. Choosing the right partner can be difficult and is actually a competition.
1.Listen to her needs
Even if you’re not totally interested in what she’s saying, it’s important to her (that’s why she’s sharing it) and, even more importantly, your attention is important to her. Listening is a key part of communication, and it proves to her that you’re invested in what she’s thinking and saying.
Communicate and understand her needs and wants. Try to understand your girlfriend’s feelings, and even if she ever does sulk or behave grumpily, try to understand what’s going on in her mind instead of retaliating back in anger.
Sometimes, women may find it easier to sit by themselves or throw an angry fit instead of getting straight to the point. It’s one of the differences in the way the masculine and feminine energies react to pain or anger.
2.Offer and give help as needed
Part of being a good boyfriend is being there for your girlfriend and both offering and giving help. Your girlfriend may be independent and more than able to take care of herself, but that doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate it if you help her from time to time. This could be things like, talking to her about a hard decision she has to make, carrying groceries inside, bringing over dinner, or running an errand so she doesn’t have to.
3.Learn to apologize
Now this isn’t just isolated to boyfriends, but since we’re going over how to be a good boyfriend, we’ll stick to the man’s side of things. It may be egoistically painful to apologize, but sometimes, it’s a generous and yet humble move when a man can apologize to his girlfriend even if he believes he’s not in the wrong.
In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to have tempers flying on a high, but always remember that a simple apology can end the fight and help both of you communicate better. At times, apologize to your girlfriend even if you don’t believe it’s your fault, for the sake of the relationship.
4.Remember her special days
Do you ever forget your birthday? Of course, you don’t. You never forget your birthday because it’s a really special day that comes just once a year, right?
Don’t you think your anniversary is special too, or perhaps your girlfriend’s birthday? It’s really arrogant when a guy forgets an occasion that his girlfriend holds dear, and then says it’s no big deal. If your own special day can be important, why can’t you understand that women give equal attention to their special days too.
5.Encourage her to follow her passions
Early on in the relationship, it’s common for the two of you to spend a lot of time together—may be, too much time. But as things progress and you grow together, you’ll also grow independently. It’s important to never let her talk herself out of pursuing her interests. If she wants to take an art class on Saturdays, but that’s the day you always go out to lunch, try to find a way to accomplish both. Or, let the art class win and reschedule. The last thing you want to do is stop her from enjoying things on her own.
6.Make time for her
If you want to be a great boyfriend, no matter how busy or occupied you are, make time for her now and then. If you truly love her, you could sacrifice a bit of sleep or stay up longer to talk to her, even if it’s for a few minutes or hours.
Do it, not because your girlfriend nags you to do spend time with her, but because you care enough to want to be with her.
7.Let her know she’s appreciated
You don’t have to knock her down with compliments every other second, but if she does something fantastic—or if her presence simply makes you feel good—let her know you appreciate it. Relationships can be hard, and it’s always nice knowing your partner acknowledges the small things you do.
8.Let her know she’s important to you
If you do really love her, and see a future with her as an equal partner, are you making the effort to let her know that she’s important by the way you behave around her? Do you respect her ideas and thoughts? Do you listen to her? Can she truly understand by your behavior that she is an important person in your life?
9.Never stop trying for each other
So many guys give up on the pursuit after their girlfriend agrees to be exclusive as if the courtship phase is over. But the truth is that no matter where you are in your relationship, you never stop courting each other. Even after marriage, or after being together for years, it’s important to keep trying to impress and show love and care for one another.
Obviously, the level of romance may go down, but it shouldn’t disappear entirely. While you’re together, you should be actively dating. It keeps things fresh and proves to her that you’re continuously working on making the relationship better. Even little actions, like surprising her with her favorite dinner, or picking up her most beloved gummy candies at the grocery store without being asked, go a long way.
10.Support your girlfriend when she’s in need
All of us need a helping hand when we’re in need. You don’t need to be clingy and become her Man Friday who’s there to answer her every beck and call. But when your girlfriend genuinely asks you for advice or help, be there to help her out.
11.Stay in touch with her
A perfect boyfriend stays in touch all the time, and keeps his girlfriend updated on his daily life. Don’t be secretive or avoid her calls when you’re out with friends. It doesn’t take much effort, or more than a minute, to update your girlfriend over a quick text even when you’re busy.
12.How are you in bed?
A perfect boyfriend initiates and maintains an active sex life. He’s innovative and tries to keep sex fun because he realizes that sex is just as important as love in a happy romance.
Romance isn’t about a handful of roses and a social media post bragging about it!
Almost all guys woo a girl until she decides to date them. And then, many of these guys take it easy as soon as they “hook” the girl. Don’t be the guy who takes a backseat and expects the girl to do all the work as soon as you’ve won her heart.
A great boyfriend loves talking to his girlfriend. He has interesting things to talk about even when there’s nothing new. And most importantly, he wants to understand his girlfriend and he wants her to understand him, warts and all.
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Boyfriend's Mistakes To Avoid
1. Saying, “You’re My Everything…and Without You, I’d Be Nothing”
You're my everything. Without you, I'm nothing
Women really love it when you give them genuine affection, attention and love, but they don’t like it when you go overboard and make them the only focus of your life.
Some guys stop focussing on other areas of their life and zone right in on their girlfriend, which ends up making her feel smothered instead of happy.
A guy who makes this mistake may try to spend every spare minute he has with her, or spend his spare time helping with her homework, household chores and errands.
He might buy her lots of expensive gifts, take her on trips he can’t afford or or shower her with other tokens of affection. He might regularly tell her how much he needs her in life his and that his life would be nothing without her. Sounds like a good boyfriend, right? Wrong.
|Yes, there are women who want everything to be about them, but that isn’t the woman you should want to be with anyway. The perfect girlfriend is one who loves her boyfriend as much as he loves her and who goes out of her way to make him feel special too. She wants a man who: |
• Has more to his life than just her.
• Is an alpha male is striving to reach his true potential as a man?
• Will work hard on his purpose in life or his career, while also giving plenty of time, love and emotional support to her.
If you make her your “everything” and hide away from other areas of life, she will naturally begin to lose interest after the initial novelty of being flattered by all your attention wears off.
She may even come to the conclusion that you’re afraid to become a bigger and better man and just want to hide from the world behind her and a relationship. To be a good boyfriend, you have to be a man that she can look up to and respect.
2. Asking, “I’m Your Everything, Right?”
Just as it’s a mistake to make your girlfriend the center of your universe, it is equally unwise to try to convince her to give up her dreams, ambitions and social lifestyle for you.
Men who make this mistake often begin to think, behave and act in an insecure way around their girlfriend. They become clingy, overly protective, jealous and so forth. They live in terror of losing their woman and constantly need to be reminded of how much she loves them.
A man like this might demand answers to questions like, “How much do you love me?” or “Have you loved other guys as you love me?” Other men will insist that their girlfriend should focus her life only on him and spending time on other things or with friends is disloyal to him.
He will try to control her and will think that by showing her his “supremacy” over her, she will be impressed by his “strength” and will respect him. However, the result he gets will be the exact opposite; his girlfriend will lose more and more respect every time he tries to control her or behaves in an insecure way.
If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, you must understand that you don’t “own” your girlfriend and you should never try to control what she does. It’s up to her how many times she sees you per week or whether she wants to catch up with friends without you.
The more you try to control her, the more she will want to rebel against you or get away from you.
On the other hand, if you give a woman the freedom she rightfully deserves, while also being attractive to her (i.e. by being a confident, strong man who is reaching for his true potential in life, while also giving love, attention and emotional support to her), then she is going to want to see you all the time and will rarely want to go out with friends if you’re not by her side.
3. Not Taking the Lead
Women can make their own decisions and lead people in many areas of life, such as in the workplace. However, when it comes to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, most women want to relax and allow you to take the lead.
Instead of asking her, “Where should we go tonight?” or saying something like, “I don’t care what we do. You decide where we can go tonight and I’ll go” a woman wants you to take on the leading role and allow her to relax into your masculine direction.
She will want to take the lead at times, but generally speaking, she will want you to take on that role in the relationship. If you don’t, then she will feel unsatisfied at her core and will naturally begin losing respect and attraction for you. When that happens, she will gradually begin falling out of love with you.
4.Don’t force her
Do you ever pressurize her into doing something YOU want, even though you know she’s not happy to do it? Don’t manipulate a girl or gaslight her into doing things your way. It isn’t a sign of love, but a sign of control.
5.Don’t be stubborn
A guy may be stubborn when it comes to his ambition and his determination, but he should never be stubborn when it comes to making decisions or making life plans with his girlfriend. Compromises and sacrifices are a part of making a relationship work in the long run.
6.Don’t take your girlfriend for granted
One of the most important aspects of knowing how to be a good boyfriend is to avoid taking your girlfriend for granted. If she gives you a foot massage or cooks a delicious meal for you over the weekend, just don’t take your girlfriend for granted and expect the same every weekend.
7.Don’t try to dominate her
Most guys have a tendency to dominate their girlfriends. It may start out subtly in little ways like watching your favorite show over hers or telling your girlfriend to avoid speaking to a few particular friends. But eventually, the urge to dominate a partner grows to an uncontrollable level, especially after being together for a while.
This is one of the worst ways of trying to hold a relationship together. Instead of trying to dominate, learn to communicate. You can’t cage a lover or try to manipulate them into becoming what you want them to be. Love is about the attraction between two individuals.
8.Don’t minimize her concerns
If she has a problem at work or with friends or family that you, personally, don’t think is a big deal, telling her not to worry is a little counterproductive. She’s already worrying and needs more from you. Instead, tell her that you support her. Oftentimes, women aren’t necessarily looking for direct answers. They know what to do, but talking it out with someone they trust makes them feel a lot better.
9.Don’t hide your feelings from her
Even though societal roles are changing, it can still be tough for guys to open up about their emotions. It may be hard for you to talk about how you feel, but a wall of silence often makes things difficult for girlfriends who don’t know the best way to help and console you. If something is bothering you, you should let your girlfriend know and trust they’ll be able to keep things confidential if need be. Even if you give small hints, like “work was really intense today,” it’s a lot better than sulking in silence with your Xbox in the basement for hours without any kind of hint. The best relationships are open, and you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to her.
Note: So now that you know how to be a good boyfriend, how many of these signs and qualities do you see in yourself? And if you’re not, maybe it’s time you start!
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