11 Easy Ways To Teach Stubborn Children To Obey
|How To Teach Stubborn Children To Obey. Photo KnowInsiders|
Stubbornness in children is natural, but this does not make the parent’s difficulties any less. Chores as simple as going to sleep, taking a bath, or eating can take a lot of convincing, ultimately leading to an argument. Dealing with this every day can be taxing. Therefore, it is essential to acquaint the child with the consequences of such behavior. Parents can completely help their children promote their strengths in personality and reduce their stubbornness by these simple tips.
Who is a stubborn baby?
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Not every child that exercises free will is stubborn. It is important to fathom if your child is stubborn or determined before taking any strong action. Strong-willed children can be highly intelligent and creative. They ask a lot of questions, which may come across as rebellion. They have opinions and are “doers”. On the other hand, stubborn children stick to their opinion and would not be ready to listen to what you have to say.
Here are a few other characteristics that stubborn children may display:
→ They have a strong need to be acknowledged and heard. So they may seek your attention often.
→ They could be fiercely independent.
→ They are committed and bent on doing what they like.
→ All children throw tantrums, but stubborn ones may do so more often.
→ They have strong leadership qualities – they can be “bossy” at times.
→ They like to do things at their pace.
11 ways to teach your stubborn children to obey
1. Listen to children's thoughts
Two-way communication. If you listen to your children, they will also listen to you. And vice versa.
Children who do not listen to their parents may have their own thoughts, opinions and a strong personality, so he/she wants to fight to the end for his/her point of view. When parents do not listen and force children to do something that they are not interested in, they will react and become rebellious. Therefore, parents should really listen to their children's opinions and concerns and talk openly to make them more obedient.
2. Respect children
Listening is not enough, respecting is another key. These are some ways parents should apply to show they are very open, listen to their children's views and thoughts:
- Cooperate with the child, but do not require the child to follow parents’ instructions.
- Make consistent rules with all children and do not arbitrarily break these rules.
- Let children do what is within their ability. This shows your child that you trust them.
- Always be consistent in your words, do not make empty promises or threaten children.
- Be a role model for your child.
3. Prevent your child's rebellion
Parents can completely "redirect" the child's rebellious attacks as soon as they notice signs that the baby is about to get angry and stubborn. For example, when the child is about to cry when he is asked to turn off the TV to take a bath, the mother can completely create a funny and eye-catching bathroom space. Your baby will be more interested in taking a bath, instead of seeing the mother suddenly turn off the TV and ask her to go to the bathroom.
|Photo Dr Prem|
Parents can make plans based on children's emotions. For example, take your child to the doctor in the morning when he's usually excited and full of energy. Fun activities, games, or delicious snacks can be reserved for the afternoon when kids are upset and irritable.
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4. Give children options, don’t force them to do anything
When parents strictly force their children to do something, they will feel unjust and unreasonable. From there, a mood of rebellion is born. To avoid this negative emotion, parents need to have a connection with their children. Parents should give their children the right to choose so they don't feel like they're being forced to do something.
However, parents should not give children too many options because this can make them confused or the baby will be born spoiled. Parents should make choices and children can only choose one of them.
5. Calmness helps parents teach stubborn children in peace
When a child disobeys and fights back, every parent must be very frustrated. However, don't let your anger "burn" everything and awaken your child’s rebellion.
Parents should try not to raise your voice and use positive words as much as possible. Parents need to be very calm to clearly explain to their children why they have to follow what adults say.
A useful tip is to focus on what your child should do, instead of what he won't do. For example, if your child puts toys on the floor, instead of saying "don't mess around", you can replace it with: "If you put all the toys in the basket, our house will look cleaner and more beautiful. Your toys are also not trampled.” This will make it easier for children to accept.
6. Explain the rules that parents set
Sometimes children oppose their parents because they do not understand their feelings. Instead of scolding, banning your baby, teach him/her to understand. Tell your children why you do it. If they disobey, what the consequences will be.
Such explanations will help children understand that their actions have a direct impact on others. From there, children will learn to think about the consequences of an action before taking it.
Sometimes, it is necessary to negotiate with your children. It is common for them to act out when they aren’t getting what they want. If you want them to listen to you, you need to know what’s stopping them from doing so.
Start by asking a few questions like, “What is bothering you?” “Is something the matter?” or “Do you want anything?” to get them to talk about it. This tells them that you respect their wishes and are willing to consider them.
Negotiation need not necessarily mean that you always give in to their demands. It’s all about being considerate and practical.
For example, your child may not be willing to go to bed at a set hour. Rather than insisting, try and negotiate a bedtime that suits both of you.
8. Use "reflection time"
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If parents have already talked, listened and given their children the right to choose but children are still stubborn, then try to apply reflection time. Give your child a quiet space for a certain amount of time. This will help both you and the child calm down to see the problem more clearly.
9. Use punishment appropriately
Raising children requires rules and discipline. Children need to understand that they will be punished if they break these rules. Therefore, parents need to have appropriate forms of discipline for their children's behavior.
Parents need to punish their children as soon as they make mistakes. Parents should explain to their children why they punish them and how they the punishment is carried out. That will help the child remember and not repeat the offense. However, the punishment should not be too harsh. Because if the parents are too excessive, the child will be more rebellious.
In addition to punishment, parents should still encourage children when they are obedient. When rewarding them, let them know this is one of the ways you show your understanding and respect for them.
How to punish a stubborn child?
Children need rules and discipline. Your child should know that there will be consequences good or bad, for their actions.
Make sure that they are fully aware of the consequences of breaking the rules.
Consequences should be immediate, especially when you are dealing with children so that they can connect their actions to the result. Time-outs, cutting down playtime, or TV time and assigning little chores can be a few ways to discipline the child. You could also get creative with consequences, based on the problem.
Remember that the idea is not to punish the child but make them realize that their behavior is wrong.
Stubbornness in children is common, but dealing with it daily may be exhausting for parents. However, knowing some tips on how to deal with a stubborn child could be helpful. While you must remain calm, listen to your child, and respect their opinions. However, do not give in to their demands or them; you might try giving them options and negotiating with them. You may also discipline them, but keep in mind that the goal is not to punish the child but to make them know that their conduct is inappropriate.
10. Create a fun atmosphere
Children learn through observation and experience. If children see their parents often argue, they will imitate and gradually become rebellious and stubborn. Therefore, parents should pay attention to creating a happy and harmonious atmosphere at home.
11. Parents also need to take a look at themselves
When you make mistakes, don't hesitate to admit them and apologize to your child. And don't forget to explain why you're acting the way you do. You must help your child understand that no one is perfect. The important thing is to admit mistakes and correct them.
When children see their parents reflect on their behavior, they will also remember and avoid making the mistakes that their parents made. As a result, children will become more obedient and less rebellious.
In summary, being parents is not easy. But if you have proper child raising methods, whether your child is a newborn, a toddler or an adolescent, your parenthood will be much easier. Remember to always to listen, respect and sympathize.
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