Top 15 Dumbest Criminals in The World Of All Time

Sally Polly August 27, 2021 | 20:56

They always said criminals are smart, but some are even clueless about what they were doing. Let's check out top 15 dumbest criminals in the world.

Top 15 dumbest criminals in the world

You think they would have known to plan things out a little better. They said criminals are smart, but certainly not these people, which their stupid wrong doings have caused them years in jail.

Let’s take a look at top 15 dumbest criminals in the world that will make you shake your head.

The list of top 15 dumbest criminals in the world of all time

15. Got caught by selfie

14. Foiled by the auto-lock

13. The bank robber who gave his address

12. Worst Customer Service Ever!

11. Left hanging

10. Bag man Badman

9. Hapless hold up

8. 'Catch me if you can'

7. 'Don't move, I have a cucumber'

6. The terrorist who claimed his own reward

5. Burrito Patrol

4. The Back-to-Jail Special

3. Sent a selfie to the police because his wanted picture looked bad

2. Bird-brained prank

1. 'Goldilocks' burglar caught napping

Who are the dumbest criminals in the world in history?

15. Got caught by selfie

Photo: Ross Parry

Bungling burglar Ashley Keast took a 'selfie' and inadvertently sent it to his victim’s work colleagues thus landing himself in jail.

Keast snapped a picture of himself wearing a white sleeveless vest using a SIM card stolen from a house at Fernleigh Drive, Brinsworth, Rotherham.

He was given a two-year-eight-month jail term at Sheffield Crown Court, along with co-accused Anthony Hunt, 27, from Garbroads Crescent, Thrybergh, who was sentenced to 18 months for burglary.

He and Hunt broke into the property on 11 September, 2013 while the occupants were on holiday.

They stole jewellery, electrical items and an Audi A4 worth a total of about £27,000. The car was found crashed a short time afterwards at nearby Centenary Way. It had suffered extensive damage.

14. Foiled by the auto-lock

Photo: The Star

A suspected car thief in Pretoria, South Africa, was foiled when the auto-lock system of the car he allegedly broke into trapped him inside.

According to The Star newspaper, the man was stuck for an hour and a half shouting for help, while amused passers-by pointed and laughed.

The newspaper reports that when the owner of the car returned, she yelled, "What are you doing in my car?" before unlocking it - at which point officers from Pretoria Central police station promptly arrested him.

Car theft is a big problem for South Africa. Reports say that 8.5bn rand ($776m; £482m) worth of vehicles are stolen in the country every year. Almost 30% are taken to neighbouring countries, and the rest are resold in South Africa after being "cloned" in car "chop shops".

"Cloned vehicle and cross-border syndicates are a growing concern," says Hugo van Zyl, head of the South African Insurance Crime Bureau, "thanks to our porous borders and the fact that crime prevention stakeholders aren't yet pooling resources effectively."

13. The bank robber who gave his address

Photo: WalesOnline

Dean Richard Smith had first walked into Barclays Bank in Treorchy, near Merthyr Tydfil in South Wales, as a customer.

But while he was in the branch on April 15, 2014 informing staff of his new address he noticed tills full of cash and curiosity got the better of him.

Thirty minutes later and armed with a breadknife and wearing socks over his shoes Smith, 27, returned.

He rushed up to the glass partition and demanded money from cashier Catherine Stockton.

She and customers could see that he was holding a bread knife across his body as he demanded all the cash to be handed over.

But hapless Smith was forced to leave empty handed, despite an elderly gentleman in his 70s he was standing next to offering him £20 of his own money to leave.

Rachel Knight, prosecuting, said the quick-thinking cashier but recognised him for his earlier visit that morning and quickly raised the alarm.

He admitted he had been "very stupid" and was jailed for two-and-a-half years for attempted robbery and carrying a bladed weapon in 2014.

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12. Worst Customer Service Ever!

Photo: The Post Star

Joseph Goetz, 48, planned to rob the Susquehanna Bank branch office in Spingettsbury Township in Ohio but left empty handed, promising he would let the bank managers know of his dissatisfaction police said.

Lt. Scott Laird of Springettsbury Township Police said Mr Goetz had walked into the bank just after 9 a.m. and demanded money from three cashiers, who were still waiting for their cash drawers to be filled.

The first cashier screamed and fainted to the floor and when he demanded the money from the second cashier, she told him she didn’t have any and showed him an empty drawer. When he asked for the cash from the third cashier, she too said she had none and also showed him an empty drawer, Laird said.

A customer at the bank’s drive-through area thought he saw something suspicious and followed the robber and called police. An officer who happened to be patrolling nearby pulled the robber over less than a mile from the bank.

11. Left hanging

A burglar in China had to be rescued after his attempt to squeeze through a small fifth floor window of an apartment block left him dangling.

It took rescuers 30 minutes to free him. He was eventually handed over to police.

10. Bag man Badman

Photo: WalesOnline

Christopher Badman, 37, from Bridgend, had put the bag on his head before entering the Marine Hotel in Porthcawl during the town's Elvis festival.

He was was seen on CCTV walking through the corridors but was disturbed by a guest after he broke into a bedroom.

Badman admitted burglary at Cardiff Crown Court.

The court heard the burglary took place on 27 September 2015 when the town was holding its biggest annual event, which sees Elvis impersonators from all around the world flock to the seaside resort.

Det Insp Andy Paddison, said: "The CCTV initially shows Christopher Badman walking through corridors and he goes to some trouble to ensure he isn't identified by the cameras by walking around with a carrier bag on his head.

"Then, for some reason, he decides to look straight into the camera from just a few feet away from the lens, and of course, his cover was blown."

Badman was ordered to pay £900 costs and a £100 surcharge.

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9. Hapless hold up

Photo: Dailymail

A hapless hold up of a newsagent in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, was captured on CCTV in 2012.

During his attempted heist, James Allan removed his balaclava, fell over a drinks display and then could not open the door to escape - because he was pushing it instead of pulling.

The lady he had just held up with a toy gun had to come and open it for him.

Not only that, but he had also tried to rob the same shop 10 days earlier. Allan, then 29 and of no fixed address, was sentenced to three years in prison for the offence shown in the video, and two years for possession of a firearm or imitation firearm, to run concurrently.

8. 'Catch me if you can'

Photo: Daily Mail

A wanted man taunted a police force to 'catch me if you can' on their OWN Facebook page.

Logan Rhys James, then 19, was on the run a week after being released early from his prison sentence for a street knife attack.

But it had emerged that the teenager, from Caerphilly, taunted Gwent Police on the force's Facebook page.

Gwent Police posted a mug shot on their Facebook page with an appeal for any information about his whereabouts after he was recalled to prison.

"Haha catch me if you can wont see me slipping [sic]," James taunted, later telling a news agency: "I have been walking around near home so they're not trying too hard to catch me."

He was caught later that day. Police thanked him for "drawing attention to our efforts to return him to prison".

7. 'Don't move, I have a cucumber'

Photo: Getty Images

Gary Rough brandished the vegetable, which was covered in a sock, at a female worker at the Ladbrokes shop in Shettleston and demanded cash.

Shortly after she refused, the 28-year-old was pinned to the ground by an off-duty police officer and arrested.

Rough was jailed at the High Court in Glasgow after admitting a charge of assault with intent to rob.

The court heard that the bookmakers was busy when Rough carried out the raid.

Prosecutor Sheena Fraser said Rough was armed with a "long cylindrical object covered in a black sock" when he went to the counter for cash.

Worker Andrea McIntosh thought it may be a gun - but refused to give him money.

The court heard Det Sgt Drew White also happened to be in the betting shop and heard the commotion.

CCTV showed Mr White knocking him to the ground with one blow.

The black sock was then taken off the "weapon" revealing it to be a cucumber.

Rough initially told police it was "a joke" adding: "It was a dare... Am I getting the jail for this?"

He later added: "I think it was quite stupid - I am not a robber. It was a laugh that went too far."

Tony Graham, defending, said Rough was a £500-a-week plumber who "could give no explanation" why he tried to rob the bookmakers.

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6. The terrorist who claimed his own reward

Photo: BBC

Officials were left baffled by an Afghan Taliban commander who gave himself up - and then tried to claim the $100 reward for his capture.

Mohammad Ashan, a "mid-to-low-level Taliban commander", was suspected of organising attacks on US and Afghan troops in the east of the country.

According to reports, he walked up to a police checkpoint in 2012, pointed to a wanted poster featuring his face, and asked for the $100 finder's fee.

The authorities were at a loss to explain his actions, although one US official reportedly told journalists: "Clearly, this man is an imbecile."

5. Burrito Patrol

Adan Juarez Ramirez had it all figured out—he could be a cop without having to take the boring test. But he was arrested in Grapevine, Texas, after pulling over a driver in his pickup truck, outfitted with flashing lights. He even had an ID badge, which he’d made by blacking out a restaurant gift card and etching in the word “POLICE.” However, he’d kept the restaurant’s logo, a jalapeño pepper surrounded by the words “Chipotle Mexican Grill.”

4. The Back-to-Jail Special

Photo: Getty Images

Two men decided a back-to-school event at an office supply store would be the perfect time to do some shoplifting. After all, store clerks would be busy helping an influx of shoppers. The sale happened to coincide with the annual “Shop with a Cop” day when about 60 police officers show up to help children pick out school supplies.

3. Sent a selfie to the police because his wanted picture looked bad

Photo: Facebook

Donald "Chip" Pugh texted police a photo of himself and wrote: "Here is a better photo that one is terrible".

Police in Lima, Ohio, posted the photos to their Facebook page and asked for help in locating Mr Pugh.

"This photo was sent to us by Mr Pugh himself," Lima Police Department wrote in a post.

"We thank him for being helpful, but now we would appreciate it if he would come to speak to us at the [Lima Police Department] about his charges."

"Man, they just did me wrong," Mr Pugh told an Ohio radio station about why he sent the selfie.

"They put a picture out that made me look like I was a Thundercat... or James Brown on the run. I can't do that."

2. Bird-brained prank

Two Welsh tourists landed themselves in court in 2012 after they got drunk and stole a penguin called Dirk from Sea World in Australia.

Rhys Owen Jones, 21, and Keri Mules, 20, from south Wales, broke into the park on Queensland's Gold Coast, swam with the dolphins and let off a fire extinguisher in the shark enclosure, before making off with poor Dirk.

When they woke up - hung-over and with the flightless bird in their apartment - they tried "their incompetent best" to care for him by feeding him and putting him in the shower, the court heard.

They later released Dirk into a canal, but were spotted by locals who called police. A magistrate fined them 1,000 Australian dollars (equivalent to £637 at the time) each, and told them to drink "a little less vodka".

Dirk was rescued and returned to Sea World unharmed.

1. 'Goldilocks' burglar caught napping

Photo: Manchester Evening News

A retired couple from Lancashire returned home from a holiday in 2014 to discover a burglar fast asleep in their bed.

Martin Holtby and Pat Dyson were amazed to find the intruder, Lukasz Chojnowski, had done their dishes, washed his underwear and even bought some groceries.

Ms Dyson said their house "wasn't too tidy" when they went away, but Chojnowski - who is originally from Poland but moved to Leeds - had kindly tidied up.

"He did burn an old saucepan but that happens!" she added. Chojnowski, then 28, admitted burglary, and was given a two-year conditional discharge and ordered to pay £200 costs.