7 Tips to Control Your Emotions Effectively
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| Our emotions dictate our thoughts, intentions and actions with superior authority to our rational minds. Photo: WikiHow |
Emotions are the most present, pressing and sometimes painful force in our lives. We are driven day by day with our emotions. We take chances because we're excited about new prospects. We cry because we've been hurt and we make sacrifices because we love. Without a doubt, our emotions dictate our thoughts, intentions and actions with superior authority to our rational minds. But when we act on our emotions too quickly, or we act on the wrong kinds of emotions, we often make decisions that we later lament.
So how can we avoid operating on the wrong types of feelings and master our emotions under the harshest of circumstances?
Follow our 7 steps to control your emotions and regain rationality in any challenging situation:
1. Be aware of situations
Perhaps the emotion you’re trying to reduce is a disappointment. You’re always hoping, for example, to serve the “perfect” meal for friends and family, but invariably something goes wrong because you’ve aimed too high. Modify the situation by finding recipes that are within your range of ability so that you can pull off the meal. You may not be able to construct the ideal soufflé, but you manage a pretty good frittata.
2. Identify what you’re feeling
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| Photo: Inc. Magazine |
Taking a moment to check in with yourself about your mood can help you begin gaining back control. Say you’ve been seeing someone for a few months. You tried planning a date last week, but they said they didn’t have time. Yesterday, you texted again, saying, “I’d like to see you soon. Can you meet this week?”, according to Healthline.
They finally reply, more than a day later: “Can’t. Busy.” You’re suddenly extremely upset. Without stopping to think, you hurl your phone across the room, knock over your wastebasket, and kick your desk, stubbing your toe.
3. Don't react right away
Reacting immediately to emotional triggers can be an immense mistake. It is guaranteed that you'll say or do something you'll later regret. Before refuting the trigger with your emotional argument, take a deep breath and stabilize the overwhelming impulse. Continue to breathe deeply for five minutes, feeling as your muscles untense and your heart rate returns to normal. As you become calmer, affirm to yourself that this is only temporary.
4. Ask for divine guidance
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| Photo: Amendo |
Faith is our saving grace in our darkest moments. No matter your creed, developing a healthy relationship with the divine world will help you surmount your obstacles more easily. This is because when you believe in a higher force, you also believe in the power of divine intervention to show you what you must do, teach you why something is happening or even save you from a certain unwanted situation. When burdened with emotion, close your eyes, envision a positive solution to your problem, and ask the universe to illuminate the best path forward.
5. Shift your attentional focus
Let’s say that you constantly feel inferior to the people around you who always look great. You’re at the gym, and can’t help but notice the regulars on the weight machines who manage to lift three times as much as you can, Psychology Today cites. Drawn to them like a magnet, you can’t help but watch with wonder and envy at what they’re able to accomplish. Shifting your focus away from them and onto your fellow gym rats who pack less punch will help you feel more confident about your own abilities. Even better, focus on what you’re doing, and in the process, you’ll eventually gain some of the strength you desire.
6. Replace your thoughts
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| Photo: Youtube |
Negative emotions bind us to recurring negative thoughts, creating cycles of downright negative patterns. Whenever you are confronted with an emotion that is making you feel or think something bad, force it out of your mind and replace it with a different thought. Imagine the ideal resolution to your problem playing out, think about someone who makes you happy or remember an event that makes you smile.
7. Forgive your emotional triggers
Your emotional triggers may be your best friend, your family members, yourself or all of the above. You may feel a sudden wave of anger when your friend "does that thing she does," or a stab of self-loathing when you remember something you could have done differently. But when you forgive, you detach. You detach from the resentment, the jealousy or the fury lingering within you. You allow people to be who they are without the need for escalating emotions. As you forgive, you will find yourself disassociating from the harsh feelings attached to your being.
| Our feelings can alter between dangerous extremes. Veer too far to the left and you're bordering on rage. Steer too much to the right and you're in a state of euphoria. As with many other aspects of life, emotions are best met with a sense of moderation and logical perspective. This is not to say that we should stop ourselves from falling in love or jumping for joy after great news. These truly are the finer things in life. It is negative emotions that must be handled with extreme care. Negative emotions, like rage, envy or bitterness, tend to spiral out of control, especially immediately after they've been triggered. In time, these sorts of emotions can grow like weeds, slowly conditioning the mind to function on detrimental feelings and dominating daily life. Ever met a person who's consistently angry or hostile? They weren't born that way. But they allowed certain emotions to stir within them for so long that they became inbred feelings arising all too frequently. |
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