5 Things to Teach Kids to Not to Become A Fool
|5 Things to Teach Kids to Not to Become A Fool|
|Table of Content|
A characteristic of honest children is patience and easy compromise, but when they grow up they will not have their own opinions, are shy and always hide in the crowd.
Most would agree that kids need plenty of encouragement and support along with a healthy mix of independence and experiential learning.
To help children not become fools, parents need to persistently teach children the following 5 basic things:
1.Courage to Say "No"
Harvard University once conducted a study with 1,000 people for 3 years and concluded: If you can learn to say no properly, you can reduce unnecessary trouble by 90%.
Recently, a mother in France shared her story on social media. According to this mother, she took her son to the park to play. Suddenly 6 boys surrounded her and asked her son to divide the toys. The scared son hugged the toy tightly to his chest, hiding behind his mother. The mother then calmly said: "You have no obligation to comply with other people's requests. If you don't want to, just say no, and be firm."
This share of the mother received hundreds of thousands of likes.
Children are easily deceived when others beg or are promised an attractive gift. In order for the child not to be easily swayed by all the invitations, at home, parents should set up some situations for the child to deal with. Each situation you need to know how to handle, how to refuse.
If your child refuses half-heartedly, it will harm him. Firstly, it is easy to fall into a dangerous situation when meeting bad objects. Second, I was born with a sense of respect, the first sentence refused but the second one nodded. Being respectful will make you people take advantage of you because they know you can't say no.
2.Learning "Attack to Defend"
In psychology there is an effect called the "Bloody Effect". When a person responds to some common question (like How are you?) with a normal answer (like I'm fine) then there is a possibility of agreeing if asked for something. Especially if the questioner says "I'm glad to hear that", the respondents will be under even more pressure. This phenomenon is used to manipulate the human psyche.
On Zhihu, the largest question-and-answer site in China, there was a mother who said she constantly had to buy new pens and erasers for her daughter named Dong Dong. When asked why, the child said that you sat at the same table borrowed but did not return it. "She said, if you don't lend it, you won't play with me," the child hesitated. Seeing her daughter's docility, the mother felt heartache. She asked: "What do I have to do to prevent my child from being bullied?".
In fact, at the request of others, parents should teach children about "attack as defense". The way this should be understood is: If something is to be received, there must be an exchange. Nothing is free in this world. If the friendship that the other party just wants to take advantage of, it should be ended as soon as possible.
3.Learn How to Deal with Rejection
Help your child understand that rejection is normal and inevitable. Parents can show their kids shows like TV singing contests, where many people get rejected, so they can see how others have overcome failure. Parents should also use examples from their own lives when they've been rejected but handled it well.
Sometimes, rejection allows children to experience more, even more enjoyable, things that they didn't get. When sad, people can't see the bright side and can't think of better options. Share other options and the positives of every problem with your child.
4.Courage to Face Bullying
A study in China found that 64% of children chose to remain silent after being bullied. They do not fight back and do not ask adults for help. However, doing so does not stop the bully, it even worsens the youth's morale.
When children are bullied, parents do not say "it's okay", but will reassure their feelings, understand and sympathize with the child. Follow-up talks let kids understand that being bullied isn't their fault, give them full affirmation and support, then continue to inspire them to solve problems on their own, teaching them how to deal with the situation. "no trouble, no fear of touching".
5.You Can't Force Someone to Like You
As children grow up, they will meet many people. With this person, the child will receive approval and love, but also inevitably the suspicion and denial of others.
Parents should teach their children, good friends are worth respecting and maintaining relationships, but with people of different frequencies, losing relationships is not too important. Don't expect to please everyone. Over-indulging in the feelings of others only makes children more tired. Living true to their true self, children will be happier.
Mistakes to Avoid
Parenting isn’t easy, and no parent is perfect. But parents should try to avoid these common parenting mistakes to ensure children learn the skills they’ll be successful adults.
The term “helicopter parent” has been around for a while. It means being involved in a child’s life in a way that is overcontrolling, overprotecting, and overperfecting. Nobody wants to see their child get hurt, but if you shield your child from all pain, he’ll miss some important learning experiences. Researchers have found that over-protected children are less open to new ideas and more vulnerable to anxiety and self-consciousness.
Experts warn that overpraising children can hinder growth. Too many compliments can prompt a child to believe he must always be perfect, that outside validation is a necessary part of life, and that trying new things is risky. Kids need to know it is OK to fail sometimes and that putting effort into something is worth doing even if the results are not successful. Parents praise effort rather than achievement.
Mistaking Physical Growth for Mental Maturity
Children pass through a number of developmental stages as they grow. These stages can be classified as infancy (zero to two years), early childhood (three to five), childhood (six to nine), preadolescence (ten to twelve), early adolescence (thirteen to fifteen), and late adolescence (sixteen to eighteen).
A child who is nine may look like he’s twelve. That doesn’t mean he’s equipped to watch his baby sister when you’re not home. A child who is twelve may look like she’s sixteen. That doesn’t mean she’s ready to date or handle a romantic relationship.
Don’t make assumptions about what your child is mature enough to handle based on looks, behavior, grades, or intelligence. Know what to expect during each developmental stage, and don’t let outward appearances fool you.
Children test limits; it’s part of being a kid. If you always give in to your child’s demands when they are throwing a tantrum and you know you shouldn’t, you’re doing him a disservice.
Battling a persistent kid can be uncomfortable. Set your limits, and stick to them. If you don’t, you may unwittingly teach your child that adults are soft-willed and kids can always get whatever they want. Model good leadership by taking your parental role seriously. Your child, in turn, will become a good leader by watching you.
Acting Without Integrity
Do you ever swear in traffic? Tell lies to avoid a confrontation? Make a promise that you fail to keep? Act differently when no one else is around besides your child?
What you do and say influences your child’s perception of himself. If you act without integrity, your child will internalize this behavior as his own. A leader without character is a poor leader, indeed.
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