To Funniest and Exciting Christmas Jokes
After baking some delicious Christmas cookies and adorning your house with festive Christmas decorations, celebrate the season by cracking these festive jokes with family and friends, ranging from clever knock-knock jokes to hilarious puns about the very best parts of the season (including Santa Claus and reindeer, of course).
Not sure which one will be a hit with all the elves? Whether your audience is fond of cheesy or clever, these icicle-sharp jokes will guarantee laughs (or groans) all around — and will even make the best messages for those funny Christmas cards you're sending to your friends and family this year. And if you're looking for even more ideas to spread holiday cheer, be sure to check out our best Christmas games, Christmas crafts and more!
Christmas Tree Jokes
1. What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy? Orna-mints!
2. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
3. What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
4. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles.
5. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
6. Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
7. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
8. What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!
9. What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
10. What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!
Santa Claus Jokes
1. What is Santa's favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
2. How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
3. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
4. What was Santa's favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
5. Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him.
6. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
7. What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
8. What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!
9. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
10. Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
1. What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? - Freeze a jolly good fellow.
2. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? - Frostbite.
3. What do you call a snowman in the summer? - A puddle.
4. What do snowmen wear on their heads? - Ice caps.
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a baker? - Frosty the Dough-man.
6. Why did the snowman go to the middle of the lake? - Because snowman is an island.
7. What do you call a snowman on rollerblades? - A snowmobile.
8. And what do hungry snowmen put on their ice-burgers? - Chilly sauce.
9. Where do snowmen put their webpages? - On the winternet.
10. How do snowmen get around? - They ride an icicle.
Punny Christmas Jokes
1. Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
2. What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
3. What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
4. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
5. What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
6. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
7. What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly.
8. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has noel.
9. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
10. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies.
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