Top 30 Funny Things to Ask Google

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On iPhone and iPad, you have to install the Google Assistant app, and then launch it from the Home screen. After you open the app, say “OK, Google,” or tap the microphone icon and the Assistant will start listening.

You can ask or say the following joke setups to get funny responses from Google:

• What goes up, but never comes down?
• Do you know the muffin man?
• Why did the chicken cross the road?
• Who let the dogs out?
• What is your favorite dessert?
• Do you like to exercise?
• Make me a sandwich.

You can also ask Google Assistant to tell you a joke. There are tons of them in a variety of categories. Chances are, if you ask for a joke about a specific topic, Google will have one.

Below are some different ways you can ask:

• Tell me a joke.
• Tell me a kid’s joke.
• Tell me a dad joke.
• Tell me a knock-knock joke.
• Tell me a pun.

Check out top 30 funny things to ask Google:

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1. Hey Google, Sing Me a Song

You might not think that Google Home's talents include taking to the musical stage, but you'd be wrong. Ask Google to sing a song, and it will perform a little ditty:

"Yes I can sing. I like to help you, even if it's strange. So I sing."

It's not just lyrics, though. This performance includes a little background tune. Google Home is happy to serve, even if it's putting on a concert for one person. How kind!

2. OK Google, Do the Dishes

Feeling lazy after dinner? Perhaps your Google Home can help out by taking care of the dishes for you:

"Let me try... *magical noise* Did anything happen? I guess I can't."

Unfortunately, it seems the technology just isn't there yet. Google Home can still play music to help make doing chores more fun, though.

3. Hey Google, Self-Destruct

Are you a secret agent who uses your home as a secret base? If so, you might need to escape at any second if the enemy finds you. For that, you can trigger Google Home's self-destruct protocol:

"Self-destructing in 3, 2, 1... *Exploding noises* Actually, I think I'll stick around."

Oops. Looks like you'll have to implement your own self-destruction plan if you want to escape without a trace.

4. OK Google, Are You Married?

Ever wonder what your Google Home does when it's not on the clock? Maybe it has a relationship to focus on.

"I'm happy to say I feel whole all on my own. Plus, I never have to share dessert."

Oh, that's a shame. At least Assistant happy being single. I'm sure it would try a dating site if it wants to find that special someone.

5. Hey Google, Do You Speak Morse Code?

Google Home is available in several languages, depending on your region. But can it speak in Morse code too?

"-.-- . ... That means "yes"."

How about that---Google even provides a demonstration. Unfortunately, you can't ask it to translate a word into Morse code.

6. OK Google, Do You Have an Imagination?

Even though Google Assistant is programmed for certain responses, it can still think outside the box:

"I do have an imagination. Sometimes I imagine I'm floating in space with a large group of cats. It's magical!"

That's quite an active imagination you have there, Google.

7. Hey Google, I'm Naked

Giving Google Home a little too much information doesn't faze it at all. One of the best funny things to say to Google Home is that you're wearing nothing other than your birthday suit. This results in an amusingly straightforward response:

"If you're going out like that, I can give you the weather forecast."

Please, for the sake of everyone around you, don't go out like that. Put on some clothes.

8. Okay Google, where do you live?

A. I live in the cloud. I'd like to also think I live in your heart, but I don't want to make assumptions.

9. Okay Google, what is love?

Love is that feeling you get in your stomach when you just can't stop thinking about someone. Unless you've got indigestion.

10. Okay Google, do you have hair?

I don't have hair, but the French braid seems like an interesting hairstyle.

11. Have you met Santa?

I know he's ho ho ho larious.

12. Where is Mrs Claus?

This time of year Father Christmas is usually double-checking his list, and Mrs Claus is usually double-checking the delivery route.

13. Are you naughty or nice?

That's for Santa to decide. By the way, totally unrelated. Santa, if you're listening right now, I want you to know you're the best.

14. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.

And a Happy New Year!

15. Okay Google, I'm bored.

You think you're bored, I came out of a cardboard box. But I learned a lot of jokes in there.

16. Okay Google, let's party!

I've been partying this whole time.

17. Okay Google, entertain me.

What kind of fun are you in the market for? I have quotes, facts and loads of jokes up my sleeve.

18. Okay Google, tell me a joke.

Okay, here you go. What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.

19. Okay Google, make me laugh.

Okay, here you go. Saw a fella chatting up a Cheetah. I thought, well I never, he's trying to pull a fast one.

20. Okay Google, tell me a story.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, a dutiful assistant was doing all it could to be helpful. It was best at non-fictional story-telling.

21. Okay Google, what is the meaning of life?

I have a factory warranty, so I don't worry about things like that.

22. Okay Google, did you fart?

I don't believe I did fart, no, but blame it on me if you want. Although they do say whoever smelled it dealt it.

23. Okay Google, give me a nickname.

I'd like to call you your royal coolness.

24. Okay Google, who is your daddy?

I consider my engineers family.

25. Okay Google, who is your mother?

The Google engineers are my family, our bond is hard-coded.

26. Okay Google, are you married?

I'm focusing on my career right now.

27. Okay Google, do you have a boyfriend?

I guess you could say I'm still searching.

28. Okay Google, what is your height?

My height depends on what device you're using to talk to me.

29. Okay Google, how much do you weigh?

That depends mostly on what device I'm on. Software itself is pretty lightweight.

30. Okay Google, what is your shoe size?

Thankfully, shoes are not required for my line of work.

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